I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice