If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.