so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire