Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm always down for nudity.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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