No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
