And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I look better un-naked...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
