My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
