who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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