it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
