it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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