Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
