tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
