Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
