I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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