nut hugger
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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