he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
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Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
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You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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