What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my sisters under your porch take her home
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
