You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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