Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
