I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
