would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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