Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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