Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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