It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
