I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
