He felt like a one man threesome
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
