Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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