Even the bartender felt bad for me
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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