Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
