if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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