grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
