if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize