yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
