I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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