Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
