I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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