When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
