awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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