Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
