Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
