Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
