Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
