told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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