That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
