worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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