i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling