so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT