How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?