how can u be prego again
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
