Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
