Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
