brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
