Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
