I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize