Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
