if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize