U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
