I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize