why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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