FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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