then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
