I'm an idiot
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks