did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
smell my finger.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
This is classic penis vs brain.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed