STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?